Certainly the storied career of former Penn State football coach Joe Paterno has left many praising his legacy of career wins, devotion and loyalty to his university for so many decades, and his concern with providing a wonderful role model for the young men under his tutelage.

Sadly, the end of his career seriously tarnished the image of his decades of honor and success. Pundits will be debating for years whether to give Joe credit for what he accomplished or to revile him for what he did not do, with respect to the Jerry Sandusky sex abuse situation.

But it is precisely what he did not do that may be his greatest legacy after all. Because of what Joe did not do, sensitivity to the horrors of child sexual abuse (in and out of sports) is now at its highest level ever. Safeguards have become instituted in universities across the nation and victims are now encouraged to come forward, rather than living lives of secrecy and mental torment.

These crimes and sexual predators will always be among us, but because of the exposure of the Penn State situation, coaches, athletic directors, college deans and families of athletes will be on the lookout for signs and symptoms and as a result, countless abuses undoubtedly will be prevented.

Shortly after his dismissal, Paterno was diagnosed with lung cancer and broke his hip. Chemotherapy and radiation treatments weakened him, robbing him of his hair and his once-booming voice. In fact, in a recent interview with the Washington Post, he appeared frail, wearing a wig and speaking in a whisper. He canceled public appearances after the interview because of his failing health, according to family members and there was public speculation about how rapidly Mr. Paterno began physically failing when he gave every appearance of being hale and hearty just before he was relieved of his post.

It is really no surprise that a man who was so passionately devoted to his career and who suffered such major and humiliating stress, and the “death” of everything that he was justly famous for that his immune system deteriorated so dramatically and could not fight off the ravages of his illness.

For Paterno’s legion of fans, who referred to the coach affectionately as “JoePa,” the turbulent final months of Paterno’s life were a tragic end to an outstanding coaching career that was built around his motto of “success with honor.”

Rest In Peace Joe Paterno.

For many people, stress levels spike during holiday season and here are the key reasons.

A DOZEN TIPS TO BUILD YOUR RESILIENCY TO STRESS

More than twenty years ago, stress was the cover story in Time magazine. “Stress” was referred to as “The Epidemic of the Eighties,” and it was referred to as the nation’s number one health problem.

Flash forward to 2007. Results were released on December 12, 2007 from “Stress in America,” the American Psychological Association’s (APA) annual survey of stress in the general public in the U.S. The researchers interviewed 1848 adults 18 and over, and the interviews were conducted in both English and Spanish.

Seventy-nine percent of those surveyed believe that they cannot avoid stress and in the month prior to the survey, 77% of those surveyed experienced stress-related physical symptoms, including headaches, GI problems, and fatigue. Seventy-three percent admitted to emotional symptoms, including feeling nervous, lack of motivation, irritability, and anger. In addition, nearly half of Americans (43 percent) reported that stress negatively impacted their relationships with spouses or partners. A fourth of Americans believed that in the previous five years, their personal relationships suffered because of stress.

Since that report in 2007, the APA has found remarkably consistent findings each year. Add the holiday season to the mix, and for many, stress spikes even higher.

STRESS AND YOUR BODY
The domino effect of not controlling your stress levels is clear. Many studies have shown a direct link between stress and fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue, gastrointestinal diseases, cancer, diabetes, Parkinson’s, Alzheimer’s and macular degeneration.
We now understand that stress also impacts cholesterol levels, platelet activation (causing heart attacks), and shortened life span. Since sleeping difficulties negatively impact the immune system and lifespan and since stress is one of the main causes of insomnia, you can see your health and your life, itself, depend on taking charge of the stressors in your life.

HOLIDAY STRESS

For many people, stress levels spike during holiday season and here are the key reasons:

• Many are nostalgic for the happy family experiences they had at this time of year and the family is now far away or is fractured by divorce and/or deaths
• People who live alone often feel much worse around the holidays, which are viewed as times for people to come together to celebrate
• If you are divorced and during the holidays you must split time with your children with your ex, it can be very frustrating and lonely
• For many people, the winter months and the grey, gloomy weather increases depression and mood changes

 A DOZEN WAYS TO DEAL WITH LIFE’S STRESSORS, REGARDLESS OF THE SITUATION

It is important to remember that occasional or low levels of stress may actually be protective of our health! For example, stress makes us more vigilant to potential danger. So, totally eliminating our stress is not only impossible, but is probably not a good idea. It is prolonged and debilitating stress that is the culprit.

Both the National Mental Health Association and the American Psychological Association offer many recommendations to build resiliency against the inevitable stressors of life.

Here are a dozen ways to get started:

• Recognize that it will never be a perfect world, even during the holidays, so go with the hand that has been dealt to you for these holidays. “It is what it is.” The holidays will pass quickly.
• Become assertive and learn to say “no” to unreasonable time pressures and responsibilities that others put on you.
• Exercise regularly, engaging in aerobic activities, and maintain good nutrition, avoiding caffeine, alcohol and nicotine.
• Build relaxation time into your life and enjoy calming music or reading, especially during those times when you are not with family
• Have a relaxing hobby that you enjoy and give yourself permission to engage in it each week, in order to distract your attention from stress-producing news on TV, for example.
• Do one task at a time, instead of multi-tasking
• Use the power of visualization to picture yourself engaging in relaxing, healthy pursuits and write down goals in order to accomplish those pursuits.
• Use imagery, meditation or self-hypnosis to imagine accomplishing your goals peacefully, while letting go of situations over which you have little or no control.
• Laugh each day, whether it’s from hearing or repeating jokes, watching funny videos or hanging around with funny people.
• Stay away from highly tensed, negative people
• Try to play with a pet each day.
• Get professional help if you still feel overwhelmed and stressed.

Our world these days is filled with invitations to worry and feel hopeless. But events and situations only represent 10% of the stress in our lives. What we do about these events determines whether we will be overwhelmed or resilient. Begin practicing these dozen stress-busting tips and watch your life take a turn for the best!

Jack Singer, Ph.D.
Clinical/Sport Psychologist

The greatest risk to our children doesn't come from strangers but from friends and family.

In light of the devastating events that allegedly took place at Penn State and Syracuse Universities, we now see fresh evidence of horrific child sexual abuse that continues to be all too prevalent in our society. How many children have been violated and are living with the horrible emotions, too frightened to come forward?

Although it is impossible to put a cocoon around your children, there are many measures that you can put to use, which will mitigate the danger.

VULNERABILITY 

The greatest risk to our children doesn't come from strangers but from friends and family. Between thirty and forty per cent of children are abused by family members. As many as 60% are abused by people the family trusts, including relatives, coaches, teachers, clergy and others who are in positions of authority, power and influence. Imagine how difficult it is for children to say “no” to such people, especially if the abuser describes his behavior as “love” or “caring.”

Those who sexually abuse children are drawn to settings where they can gain easy access to children, such as sports leagues, religious youth centers, clubs, and schools. They go to extraordinary efforts to gain the trust of parents and other relatives. Imagine, for example, the vulnerability of a single parent’s children when a coach or teacher volunteers to watch over them after school or during times the parent must be at work.

WARNING SIGNS

Beware of adults who give excessive attention to your children, such as trying to get into one-on-one situations with them repeatedly. Where this gets tricky is with teachers and coaches, who show sincere care and want to offer one-on-one counsel. It is hard to differentiate genuine care from those who prey on children.

Look for changes in your child’s behavior, moods, attitudes and school performance.

Abusers frighten their victims by telling them that they (the victim) let it happen and their parents will be angry, so “don’t tell.” Even worse, some abusers threaten family members if the child tells.

PREVENTION

First, a coach should never be in a locker room alone with an athlete. Other players or coaches must be present. This not only goes for coaches of the same sex as the athlete, but obviously also in situations where the coach and athlete are opposite sexes.

Secondly, for younger players, in particular, a parent should be present at all practices. This is important not only to mitigate against sexual abuse possibilities, but also to hopefully mitigate the verbal abuse that often takes place between coaches and athletes. Coaches often bristle at parents being present because they don’t want parental interference in their coaching style. Assert yourself with the coach. If he insists that you not be present, remove your child from that coach/team.

If you have no proof of abuse, but you are worried about your child’s changing behavior or mood, it is better to err in the conservative direction by removing your child from the coach, team, club or situation.

If your child displays any of the warning signs above, attempt to speak with your child about what is disturbing him/her. Abused children often feel more comfortable discussing their fears with a trusted adult, afraid their parents will be angry or ashamed of them. So, have a relative or close friend connect with your child if you suspect anything. Don’t be disappointed that your child cannot discuss what happened with you.

If your child does begin to discuss what happened, make it safe for the child to express their fears. Don’t probe any more than the child feels comfortable with. It may take several discussions before your child can get all of the details out. Don’t judge your child. Just be empathetic and get the child professional help. Child psychologists are experts at helping abused children deal with their fears and trauma.

As parents, we are vigilant about teaching our children to watch for traffic before crossing, always put on your seat belt, and lock the doors when they are home alone. It is time we extend that vigilance to frank discussions about what behaviors by adults with whom they interact are proper and what behaviors are not. Tell your children to come to you when they are confused or worried about any adult’s interactions with them.
 

Jack Singer, Ph.D.
Clinical/Sport Psychologist

According to the The National Alliance for Caregivers 29 percent of the U.S. population provides care for a chronically ill, disabled or aged family member or friend. The number of older Americans who are living with chronic disability and require help from family members is a major social concern.

Statistics show that about 75% of caregivers are women and two thirds of the caregivers in the United States hold down regular jobs in addition to being a caregiver which can lead to huge emotional and physical stress over time.

What is a Caregiver?

A caregiver is someone who, whether paid or unpaid, looks after another person who can no longer look after themselves due to illness, trauma, or old age. When a person is limited in what they can do, they need someone to step in and give them the care they need. These are people who need help with daily basic tasks such as grocery shopping, house cleaning, bill paying, meal preparation, medications, bathroom and personal hygiene, and so much more.There are millions of caregivers in the United States alone. If you are a caregiver, you are by no means alone.

It is not easy to be the one who is caring for someone else, no matter what their particular health issue may be. If you are in the position of being a caregiver for a loved one, here are some tips to help you when your energy flags and you are concerned about burnout.

Seek Resources

The internet is a wonderful tool for finding information about just about anything these days. Spend some time Googling terms that apply to your particular set of circumstances. For instance I just typed this search term into Google, “How to be a good caregiver” and found several excellent articles. This one in particular I thought was very helpful: Taking Care of YOU: Self-Care for Family Caregivers.

Take time to find out all you can about care giving and the resources available to you. Since you are not alone, there is plenty of information on the Internet, in magazines, and at local hospitals and nursing homes about the art of being a caregiver. When you know what you are facing, you can prepare for it.

Craft a Strong Support System

If you are caring for a family member, you may not be the only one who is working to see your loved one get better. Keep in contact with other family members so that you can coordinate your efforts on behalf of your loved one. If each person knows their role, there will be fewer reasons to stress out along the way and no one person bears the brunt of the entire responsibility.

Get to Know the Medical Professionals

I just Googled this term “Caregivers talking to medical professionals” and instantly found a great article at Caregivers Support.org called “Communication with Health Care Professionals” that gives some excellent advice and tips for talking to healthcare professionals.

Take Care of Yourself!

Caregiving is demanding and caregivers need time off from their caregiving responsibilities to relieve stress and prevent burnout.

• Schedule regular afternoon or evenings out.
• Take time to talk with friends, either in person or on the phone.
• Eat nutritious meals.
• Get enough sleep.
• Exercise regularly. It is a great stress buster.
• Make a list of jobs you could ask for help with. For some reason, this seems to be one of the hardest things for caregivers to do!
• Arrange adult day care.
• Join a support group.
• Draw strength from your faith.
• Take time to pamper yourself.
• Plan a weekend getaway.
• Hire a temporary caregiver from a respite care program. While many forms of respite care exist, the quality of care provided by respite services may vary.  Therefore, it is important to check out the facility before leaving your loved one

This new and startling revelation aboutCoach Jerry Sandusky, the Penn State Defensive Coordinator who was arrested Saturday on 40 criminal counts of child sex abuse, is yet another example of “Let’s hope this will just go away by not making it public.”

Was there ever a concern for the victims in this case by the university and those within the football program? Was there ever a concern in that organization that bynotinforming the police, that the perpetrator was free to carry out his demented desires with untold other victims?

University administrators were aware that a graduate assistant had seen Sandusky attacking a young boy in the team’s locker room shower in 2002. However, even though Sandusky was prohibited from holding youth sports camps on campus in 2002, he continued to hold them through 2008 under his Sandusky Associates company at the university’s Behrend campus, just outside Erie. Further, it is being reported by a person familiar with Sandusky’s relationship with Penn State that the former coach long maintained an office in the East Area Locker building which is across the street from the Penn State football team’s building, and was on campus as recently as week ago working out.

We see this all the time:  athletes or coaches with addictive issues are protected so that they can continue to perform for the team; domestic violence is almost an acceptable behavior if the athlete is one of the stars of the team; coaches who abuse their athletes describe their victims as wimps, or worse (e.g., “This is nothing.  You should have seen how my coaches treated me!”).

Why is it that the everyday Joe is accountable, but many star athletes and coaches (as well as celebrities in any arena) get a free pass, unless the media get wind of their behaviors)? Think Lindsay Lohan here.

It's time to make every individual, regardless of his/her popularity, power or importance to the team accountable for their behaviors.

The Michael Vick’s of sports have paid for their deeds, but I fear that they represent only the tip of the iceberg.  Furthermore, these cover-ups tarnish the image of the majority of athletes and coaches who lead clean lives, tending to their families, and appreciating the gifts that the Almighty has bestowed on them.

Jack Singer, Ph.D.
Licensed and Certified Clinical & Sport Psychologist

By now, all of you who are baseball fanatics have observed the unbelievable collapse of a wonderful baseball team during September, which culminated in their most frustrating moment, losing to Baltimore with one strike separating them from a win and at least a tie in the wild card race.

We all read with sadness how Tito Francona felt somewhat helpless trying to rally his players and eliminate the causes which he identified as contributing to their uncharacteristic collapse.   If you look at any organization in the business world, what would you, as the CEO, do if your manager is impotent?  This was the question facing the Red Sox brass, when Tito removed himself from the equation, citing that the club needed “a new voice.”

What to do to rectify the situation:

Here are my thoughts about putting this baseball organization back on top where they can get the most out of their remarkable talent base.

1. First, management must identify the specific sources of disruption in the leadership and communications failures that plagued the Sox, particularly as the season wound down.
2. Secondly, they need to carefully assess the personality traits of candidates for the manager’s job and match them to the needs of the players whom he must manage.  This step is almost never addressed in athletic hiring decisions.  Using the specialized tools of the Industrial/Organizational psychologist during this process will offer a new picture of the organizational culture and the best fit for a new manager.
3. Third, each ball player needs to be assessed to determine what specific issues led to their personal failure to produce consistently.  Sport Psychology techniques are perfectly suitable for making this determination and designing individualized remediation programs for each player, designed to prevent this from reoccurring next season.

In short, the Red Sox masterminds need to go outside the organization and bring in an expert, who can come on board and help them make the right selection, so our beloved Sox will go on to years of post-season glory!

Mary Smith headed outside to her friend’s pool. Settling into a lounge chair, she tapped the Skype application on her phone. Hundreds of miles away, her face popped up on her therapist’s computer monitor; he smiled back on her phone’s screen.

She took a sip of her cocktail. The session began.

Ms. Smith, a 33-year-old high school teacher, used to be in treatment the conventional way — with face-to-face office appointments. Now, with her new doctor, she said: “I can have a Skype therapy session with my morning coffee or before a night on the town with the girls. I can take a break from shopping for a session. I took my doctor with me through three states this summer!”

And, she added, “I even e-mailed him that I was panicked about a first date, and he wrote back and said we could do a 20-minute mini-session.”

Since telepsychiatry was introduced decades ago, video conferencing has been an increasingly accepted way to reach patients in hospitals, prisons, veterans’ health care facilities and rural clinics — all supervised sites.

But today Skype has made online private practice accessible for a broader swath of patients, including those who shun office treatment or who simply like the convenience of therapy on the fly.

“In three years, this will take off like a rocket,” said Eric A. Harris, a lawyer and psychologist who consults with the American Psychological Association Insurance Trust. “Everyone will have real-time audiovisual availability. There will be a group of true believers who will think that being in a room with a client is special and you can’t replicate that by remote involvement. But a lot of people, especially younger clinicians, will feel there is no basis for thinking this. Still, appropriate professional standards will have to be followed.”

The pragmatic benefits are obvious. “No parking necessary!” touts one online therapist. Some therapists charge less for sessions since they, too, can do it from home, saving on gas and office rent. Blizzards, broken legs and business trips no longer cancel appointments. The anxiety of shrink-less August could be, dare one say … curable?

Ms. Smith came to the approach through geographical necessity. When her therapist moved, she was apprehensive about transferring to the other psychologist in her small town,  who would certainly know her prominent ex-boyfriend. So her therapist referred her to another doctor, whose practice was a day’s drive away. But he was willing to use Skype with long-distance patients. She was game.

Now she prefers these sessions to the old-fashioned kind.

But does knowing that your therapist is just a phone tap or mouse click away create a 21st-century version of shrink-neediness?

“There’s that comfort of carrying your doctor around with you like a security blanket,” Ms. Smith acknowledged. “But,” she added, “because he’s more accessible, I feel like I need him less.”

The technology does have its speed bumps. Online treatment upends a basic element of therapeutic connection: eye contact.

Patient and therapist typically look at each other’s faces on a computer screen. But in many setups, the camera is perched atop a monitor. Their gazes are then off-kilter.

“So patients can think you’re not looking them in the eye,” said Lynn Bufka, a staff psychologist with the American Psychological Association. “You need to acknowledge that upfront to the patient, or the provider has to be trained to look at the camera instead of the screen.”

The quirkiness of Internet connections can also be an impediment. “You have to prepare vulnerable people for the possibility that just when they are saying something that’s difficult, the screen can go blank,” said DeeAnna Merz Nagel, a psychotherapist licensed in New Jersey and New York. “So I always say, ‘I will never disconnect from you online on purpose.’ You make arrangements ahead of time to call each other if that happens.”

Research on the effectiveness of on-line therapy shows the same effects, essentially, as in person therapy, so the practicality of on-line therapy outweighs the few negative issues, such as not sitting in front of the client and seeing his/her body language, eye contact, etc.  In addition, I am able to Skype with clients who are on vacation in other locals, and with athletes, who are out of town performing in major events and want to touch base with me before or after their events.  In short, I have found using Skype has grown my practice and dramatically increased my access to clients.

Why Children Are More Stressed Than Ever And What You Can Do To Help

Childhood has changed. Instead of pick-up baseball and basketball games on the corner lot, there are competitive travel leagues for kids as young as seven or eight. Instead of the three “R’s”; Reading, wRiting and aRithmetic,  kids are faced with standardized tests and after-school tutors. Instead of Sunday night with the Wide World of Disney, there’s questionable “family” shows such as the Family Guy, South Park, and the Simpsons. And then there’s technology!

Kids today are experiencing higher levels of stress than ever before, partly because they’re being exposed to “mature” material before they’re able to process it, partly because the demands on their time are higher than ever, and partly because they don’t have time to decompress.

Here are five ways to help the kids in your life minimize and deal with stress.

Turn off the TV

Even when carefully monitored, TV can still cause kids stress. The bright colors, advertisements, and frenetic action are all designed to pull kids in, but they’re not designed to calm them down. (Some shows have even caused seizures in epileptic children). Turn off the assault on their senses. Sit with your children and discuss the day. Discuss what is going on in their lives. Listen to them!

Help kids identify and name their stress

Kids, especially younger ones, can have a hard time recognizing and labeling their stress. They may know they feel “bad” or uneasy, but may not know that what they’re feeling is stress or anxiety. Ask questions about what the bad emotions feel like (butterflies? angry tigers? a tummy ache?) and then help your child figure out when the feelings started.  Was it when the teacher handed out the math test ? When former best friend Keeshia sat with someone else at lunch? When everyone laughed at your book report? Identifying what children are feeling can help them sort out those feelings and instill the belief they have some control over the stress they’re experiencing.

Give kids choices

One of the biggest sources of stress for anyone of any age is feeling like they don’t have control over their lives, or the events in it. By giving your child a say in what’s happening to them, you help them feel more powerful. Let’s say your fourth-grader is freaking out about her math class. You can’t let her skip math, but you can give her options. Does she want to ask the teacher for extra help, or look into tutoring? Would she like Mom or Dad or an older neighbor to help her? Would she prefer to study in the morning or right after school? Even small choices help a child feel a sense of control over the outcome of a stressful situation.

Be a good listener

Sometimes, the best thing to do is to just listen to your child, without offering advice or suggestions. Listening will allow your child to share some of the burden of their anxiety, which can help alleviate anyone’s stress. By paying attention to them, you can also gain insight into what the underlying sources of their stress may be.

Be there for your child

Just knowing that you are unquestionably available to your child can help him or her feel more secure and less stressed. After a tough day at school, to be able to come home and be surrounded by a loving, caring family can be the best stress-reliever of all. Take time to laugh and have fun, and create positive memories and events to counteract any negative occurrences in their life. It will help you relieve your own stress, too!

When we assume our kids are processing stress the same way we do, we are missing an opportunity.  We have the tools available to help ourselves through stressful situations because we’ve been around long enough to know what stress feels like and how to combat it.  Your child doesn’t have those tools.  It’s your job to observe, listen, and then help your child work through their feelings. Pass your knowledge on to your child and everyone wins.

When we think of emotional stress, we automatically assume it’s something that is bad for us. Yes, some kinds of stress are associated with health issues such as high blood pressure, headaches, and even weight gain. But not all stress is negative stress.

To illustrate, think about stress on the body. Some types of physical stress – trauma from a car accident, a torn muscle, or a broken bone – are negative. But other kinds of stress – stretching, lifting weights, speed walking, or running – are good stress that actually make your body stronger over time. Emotional stress works in a similar way.

Good Stress/Bad Stress

Researchers have discovered that the body responds differently to different kinds of emotional stress. Negative stress, which scientists call distress, is the kind of stress that comes from having your well-being threatened, or from being attacked, physically or emotionally. Distress causes the heart to race, breathing to become shallow, blood vessels to constrict (resulting in clammy palms and headaches), and even insomnia. Loss of a job, worry about family or spouse and divorce or death are huge sources of negative stress.

Normal 0 false false false EN-US X-NONE X-NONE MicrosoftInternetExplorer4

Distress, or negative stress, has the following characteristics: 

• Causes anxiety or concern
• Can be short- or long-term
• Is perceived as outside of our coping abilities
• Feels unpleasant
• Decreases performance
• Can lead to mental and physical problems

Positive stress, called eustress, on the contrary, comes from the anticipation, or the experience, of pleasurable events such as a roller coaster ride, falling in love, watching or participating in a close ball game, or waiting for the starting gun for a marathon. Eustress may cause some of the same physical symptoms, but is actually excitement. Your body processes eustress as positive, and eustress can make you feel good as your body releases endorphins.

Eustress, or positive stress, has the following characteristics:

• Motivates, focuses energy
• Is short-term
• Is perceived as within our coping abilities
• Feels exciting
• Improves performance

Does It Matter Which Stress You’re Feeling?

Whether the stress you’re under is good or bad does matter.  The stress you’re feeling can be a critical element in how your body processes the physical sensations it’s receiving. When you consciously realize that you’re excited, not anxious, about an upcoming challenge, you give your body keys to how it should receive and interpret the symptoms you are feeling.

Also, some people get stressed ABOUT being stressed. They don’t take the time to determine if they’re experiencing distress or eustress. The “feeling stressed about feeling stressed” loop just exacerbates the negative emotions surrounding your primary stress.

If instead of interpreting all stress as bad, you realize that your hands are clammy and you’re feeling a little light-headed because you’re excited about, for instance, the presentation you’re going to give in front of your colleagues, you can actually enjoy the feelings, realizing they’re coming from a positive source.

Too Much of a Good Thing?

Just because eustress is “good stress” doesn’t mean that you want to purposely seek out all the possible excitement-producing events you can. People who do this are called adrenaline junkies! Instead, researchers believe that there is an ideal amount of stress each person needs to experience in order to work at his or her optimum level.  According to these researchers, too little good stress and you’re bored; too much good stress and you can act recklessly, make poor decisions, and become worn down, both physically and mentally.

Pay attention to your own personal rhythms and response to both eustress and distress. Find your own personal “sweet spot” and try to operate within that range. If you feel a little bored with life, try to spice things up by find new hobbies or adventures. And when you’re feeling a little too excited, skip the roller coasters and try a quiet evening at home. It’s all about balance. You just need to find your own!

If you are genuinely concerned about your stress levels I can offer you some help. I have an e-course called 108 Days to Conquering Your Stress that you can find here, or you can call me toll free at 1-800-497-9880 for a free 20 minute telephone consultation.

Did you know that talking to your baby during pregnancy can help build their language and literacy competency? As improbable as it may sound, developing children’s literacy skills actually begins during pregnancy. In fact, mothers have been doing this since the dawn of time.

When mothers talk to their babies while they’re still in the womb many researches believe that is actually the first step in language development. One thing for sure is that babies get used to the sound of their mother’s voice and perhaps when they are born, that familiarity lends itself to quicker recognition and a fast bond after birth. This is also a wonderful time for the father to bond with both his wife and his unborn child. Many men report that they enjoy gently massaging the mother’s belly and talking to the baby.

Do you love music? Music is thought to be pre-linguistic and contributes to your baby’s foundation for language skills. Listening to music yourself, and singing tunes you enjoy can provide healthy stimulation for your child’s development.

Of course when babies are born, it is very helpful to them for their parents to continue speaking. Babies will start to recognize sounds and get to know gestures and facial expressions. Babies learn so much from the sights and sounds around them and will begin, almost immediately, to try to imitate the sounds their parents make. This is all part of the process of babies figuring out how we, as humans, communicate with each other.  They will start to recognize how we relay information to each other in narrative form and begin to learn how to do that themselves.

We begin to see babies’ story-telling skills emerge in the toddler days when they launch into those long, animated baby monologues. When we listen intently to one of these stories that babies tell, it is almost like we can actually follow along, because, the child is so excited in relaying the details to us. It is very much like watching a foreign-language TV show. If you watch it long enough, you begin to follow the story, even if you don’t understand a word of it. That is the power of the narrative – and the baby has learned that skill from watching us and listening to us intently.

Parents can use every opportunity throughout the day to talk to their baby about anything and everything. That is a great way to build up the babies’ early literacy foundation. When washing the dishes or making dinner or cleaning up, parents can explain the tasks they are doing to their baby. Babies will begin to hear familiar words if the parents are in the habit of doing this frequently.

It is so tempting, when talking to babies and toddlers, to use baby talk. Experts suggest parents speak properly to their children, however, so the children can have the most possible exposure to the correct sound of words. For example, if a child has a ‘baby word’ for banana, and the parent constantly uses that ‘baby word’ back to the child, they are only reinforcing the incorrect pronunciation.

Even if a parent sometimes uses their babies’ pronunciations of words, the important point is that the child is being talked to frequently throughout their day. It is an essential building block of language, and therefore literacy, development.